Foolish Design

The Foolish Watchmaker is another phrase for the Foolish Creator of life as we know it. For Intelligent Design, the Watchmaker is an entity who carefully tunes life to match the conditions of the cosmos around it. In Foolish Design, the Foolish Watchmaker is the entity who has carefully tuned life as we know it to be as bizarre, strange, and funny as possible.

While none can fathom the precise motivations of our Foolish Creator, some general ideas about the nature of such a being can be inferred. For example, while an Intelligent Creator has mysterious purposes, a Foolish Creator has mysterious but assuredly comedic purposes in mind. The platypus is the flagship example of the case in point. Clearly, the platypus was not made to suffer unduly from its design, but it was made for laughter. The platypus is bizarre because its features bridge the gap between many categories. It's got a duck-bill, it's poisonous, it's a good swimmer but nests on land, and it lays eggs. All of these bizarre features are rounded-out with a confusing beaver tail. Why? Because it's funny. Oddly out-of-place, but clearly loved by its creator, the platypus provides insight into the whole of Foolish Creation. Perhaps all of Foolish Creation shares the same properties: oddly out-of-place, but nonetheless loved. Looking deep enough, Foolish Design can be seen in most creatures. Dogs are Foolish enough to think they are people, clown fish require no explanation, and humans are Foolish enough to waste most of their lives indoors.

In the context of this universe of outcasts and mad hatters, our Foolish Creator could be considered a compassionate and caring, yet off-kilter deity. A Creator that watches over us,  but mostly because we need watching over. Perhaps the perfect creations got left to fend on their own, because they don't need supervision. In contrast, life here on Earth is clearly imperfect, and in need of a guiding hand. How much compassion would it have taken to to refrain from blinking such a creation out of existence and starting from scratch? How much dedication would it take to remain watching over these creatures for eternity? This very well may be why Foolish Creations are comical creations. It's the only way an ultimate being could put up with the boredom of babysitting its creations for endless eons.

A Foolish Creator's motivations are bizarre, but sincere. While it is hard to nail down specific characteristics, certain assumptions can at least be made about their nature. Since we cannot communicate with such a being, we are instead left to wonder, and laugh at Its creations.

Foolish Design: It’s a simple principle, really; much similar to intelligent design. In fact, it is intelligent design. The fundamental premise is that the world is simply too complicated, too bizarre and hilarious to have been created by anything but an unknown, mysterious, foolish designer. It is important to stress that we mean foolish in the sense of the traditional fool, the jester. No attempt is made to suggest that this foolish designer is a fool in the more modern sense: an idiot. It’s an amazingly airtight theory. In fact, the evidence is all around us, if we care to look. For a simple case in point, take the duck-billed platypus, I mean, look at it! It’s hilarious! Is it a bird? Is it a rodent? Who cares? The damn thing looks silly enough to almost prove the existence of a Foolish Intelligence behind the development of life on Earth.

Evidence of a Foolish Designer is especially prevalent among the human race, it’s even written into our bodies. The only simple, logical explanation that fits Occam’s Razor is that this was done by intelligent intent, and somewhere out there, something is laughing at us.

No doubt you’ve had the feeling before. Perhaps you bought a new car, and then realized you forgot to check that there was an engine under the hood. Maybe you had a distinctly Freudian slip during an intimate moment. It is even possible that you’ve engaged in hysterical laughter during stressful moments. All of these simple instances are indications of a unified, complex instance of Foolish Design, a design that delves even into our very psyche.

There are some who may dispute the evidence of Foolish Design. They may point out death, disease, and famine, claiming that these are not beautiful aspects of life. One could ask why such things exist if there is a Foolish Designer behind it all. There are many ways to respond to such a question. We feel, however, that the most appropriate response is to say that a Foolish Designer may have an intellect, motivation, and sense of humor simply too complex, too unfathomable for the human mind to comprehend it.

The exact origins of the earliest incarnation of Foolish Design theory are convoluted and hard to trace. Some argue that it started with Ben Franklin's saying that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Others contend that the earliest origin of Foolish Design theory came instead from the first person who realized that breathing helium could make their voice high-pitched and squeaky.

The current model of Foolish Design evolved out of a conversation between the father and son team of John and Devin Spassvogel. The two were discussing their views on Intelligent Design when naturally, the subject of humor arose. Thinking about the sheer number of comedic and bizarre instances in everyday life, they gradually began to see a pattern emerge out of the hilarity. Slowly, the evidence seemed to fall into place for a theory of Foolish Design. It was all there: instead of the irreducible complexity of Intelligent Design, Foolish Design featured the principle of irreducible hilarity. When considering the elegant design of this fundamentally bizarre world, even the duck-billed platypus fell into place. The lowly platypus was thrust into becoming the cornerstone of a cutting-edge paradigm of the development of life as we know it. Indeed, it now sits in an exalted position, evidencing the theory of Foolish Design. With this benchmark of Foolish Design finally implemented, John and Devin Spassvogel now search the world around for evidence of Foolish Design in ecosystems, history, and humanity itself.

John Spassvogel, a professional philosopher, has had a history of innovative, groundbreaking, and insightful theories. In his early years, he was a champion logician. Now, John Spassvogel could be considered the "elder statesman" of Foolish Design. He lends a guiding hand in refining and evaluating new theories of Foolish Design.

Devin Spassvogel is a leading debater for the principles of Foolish Design. As a soulless attorney, he is capable of finding hilarity in the strangest of events. Because of this keen investigative eye, Devin is the Center for Foolish Design Advocacy's leading author on Foolish Design.

Foolish Design as a theory gives us a strong indication that our origins are much more mysterious than they at first seem. The most convincing article of evidence is also the most simple. Humor itself plays no biological function in life that evolution can explain. Many emotions play a biological role, that is, they are essential in regulating behavior, and help creatures to survive. Fear helps to motivate one to escape danger, love engages one in the act of procreation, and anger can help to intimidate or frighten off those who challenge our abilities. Even embarassment and guilt play an important biological role, as they regulate and maintain a social hierarchy within a group. However, humor and laughter achieve no biological function. They simply exist. There is no motivating reason for humor to have come into existence, and taken the important role in life that it now occupies. The human race is not undergoing any selective pressures for appreciation of comedy. The only possible reason for laughter and humor to exist is that they must have been designed and placed within us by a Foolish Watchmaker.